Friday, January 11, 2019

#629 : When words fail

Writing has been my "thing" for a long time now. I love the sound of my keyboard clattering while I hammer away my thoughts, broadcasting it to the world. I love scribbling on my notepad about anything and everything. I would never rate myself as a good writer, but I can string words without making major grammatical blunders. I don't agree with people who call my writing good. I brush them off with sigh and tell them there is always room for improvement and I need to improve. People mistake it for arrogance, but that's just how I'm built. I cannot take a compliment and I absolutely push my self hard to excel. 

Over the course of time, I began feeling a slight sense of disorientation every time I had a blank document or a paper in front of me. I couldn't simply get myself to write a sentence without being anxious about how I should continue. Thankfully, my day job does not need me to wax about eloquently. A couple of technical reports, a handful of instructive mails and a bunch of markings on engineering documents is all is needed of me through the week apart from the occasional howler when things go wrong. I get through that comfortably, but the minute I open a document to pen down a review or continue the story I started writing, words fail. My fingers hover over the keyboard hoping words tumble out magically. A million of thoughts zip by and by the time I manage penning some of them down, they are  a incoherent mess which needs to be read, re-read and re-written. Desperation sets in and I save my work for the session.  I always read thrice and edit like mad before I hit publish, but never have I ever given up in frustration and hit the button. Of late, that seems to be the general way of getting through a piece to be published or mailed. No amount of editing seems to be make me happy. In fact, this very post took me a week to write, edit and re-write. I would have done this in day.

Personally, my life is almost peaceful barring the general feel of mild discontent with various finer aspects of life, just like any other normal human. Being the person that I am, I sat down to contemplate and work on a solution. No amount of introspection helped me arrive at a conclusion on the reason behind this phase. I don't know if it would have helped to speak to my friends.

That's when it struck me that I had become an introvert. I used to have a handful of people around me who used to support me or just be there.I used to love talking to people, hearing their stories, that too in person. Over the time, the handful seems to have dwindled and boiled down to just a couple. Must be the hectic schedule and my day job, I reasoned, but that sounds like a watery excuse to not make that effort to socialize. On the other hand, nor did those people make an effort to come talk to me. It's supposed to be a two way street isn't it? Or may be I'm not really a like- "able" person.

I even considered a social media and general interaction detox. However, I did realize that my story, the things I write, all of it stems from interactions with people. It would be like killing my golden egg laying muse.

What do I really do?

I decided to stop coercing myself into writing for the sake of it. I have short term plans for various features on the blog which are not really writing intensive. I'm planning to wade through my review commitments step by step with a general format in mind.

As far as the creative writing bit is concerned, I'm researching various activities which would help. Also planning to unlearn the language - English - and learn it again with vigor.

Would all the plan work, I wonder! 

I do hope all this works! *Fingers Crossed* *No scratch that, hands crossed may be?*

Monday, January 7, 2019

#628 : Another Year gone! - 2018

Top post on IndiBlogger, the biggest community of Indian Bloggers
2018 - A year of changes. Frankly, it's been like that since Dec 2016! 

I welcomed 2018 in a tiny claustrophobic room lying on the bed despairing to be with my loved ones. I was in Spain for work and home sickness had begun to set in. It did eventually get better though. Days passed by in a blur as I worked my head off for a good 4 months there before I got packed off to home. Being home felt good, but I missed the independence and the peace that Spain offered me. 

The year turned out to be a complete surprise in many ways. Just like 2017, the "adapt" streak continued. I moved to a new house, took a good vacation ( A perfect trip to Thailand) and ended up experiencing a lot of new things. 

Most important of all, I published my first short story book. In the process, I did realize a few things which lead me to my goals for 2019. I also indulged quite a bit by eating out a lot exploring different cuisines, shopping for good organic skincare/makeup and clothes and books. However, with all the expenses, I realized the value of budgeting and planning. I also decided it was high time I got fit, joined a gym and also stumbled on a group on Facebook which mentally supported me to realize the importance of fitness. A special mention of thanks to Janaki & Rubina. 

Blogging wise, it has been a stellar year. I set up my own domain, customized mail ID and managed to blog pretty regularly. I also worked on supporting the blog-sphere by commenting on most of the blogs I read. Thanks to Blogchatter's My Friend Alexa campaign, I discovered pretty interesting blogs and my Alexa ranking hit the roof. 

Reading wise, it has been a mixed bag. I didn't really read the books I wanted to, with Shashi Tharoor being an exception. Missed out on reading works of Perumal Murugan, Jeet Thayil & Manu Joseph. I began actively participating in the Bookstagram community, but then again, some harsh lessons there. I attended a book club meet this year finally! Met a lot of interesting people and of course, I met my book-reviewing-idol - Vishy. Been following his book reviews for a long time now. He is so humble and simple for a man who has read so much. 

The highlight of the year however was one goal that I set for myself and accomplished it perfectly - cutting off toxic people from my life. I shut out all of them. Aishwarya, my friend from school, helped me mentally to do that. Thank you Aish :) 

Some goals for 2019. 

1. Plan, plan, plan & execute - I discovered that once I have a plan in place, my mind refuses to stray and sticks to it. I intend to efficiently bring about a routine to incorporate my personal goals. Time to explore bullet journal may be?

2. Explore DIY - I'm not much of an arts and crafts person. This year, I intend to dabble with something that would help me focus on the beauty of little things of life. 

3. Improve my writing - The ever helpful Bragadeesh, writer & fellow blogger, helped me chart out a structure for the novel I had started to write. However, I realized my writing was weak. I need practice. This is the year for it. Detailed post later. 

4. Forget Bookstagram - Detailed post about this later. 

Wish you all a peaceful year ahead. I wanted to take some time to gather my thoughts before I penned this post down, hence the delay of 7 days! 


Sunday, December 30, 2018

#627 : The Storm (#2 Ponni's Beloved - An English Translation Of Kalki Krishnamurthy's Ponniyin Selvan) By Sumeetha Manikandan : Review

Ponniyin Selvan is a critically acclaimed Tamil Novel. Set in the Chola period, the story revolves around Sundara Cholan, the emperor. Vandiya Devan, the prince of a fallen kingdom, is tasked to be a messenger by Aditya Karikalan to deliver message critical to the empire. This volume follows Vandiya Devan's journey to Sri Lanka where he meets Prince Arul Mozhi Varman who is in the middle of conquering Sri Lanka. 

The original story as such is ridiculously thrilling. The characterisation, the plot points, all of them are intense and complex that one might feel high and dry by the time they finish reading this volume.  Tamil is a very elaborate language. The original writing is known for it's wordplay, and the plot by itself is famous for its complexity and political intensity. To bring in that effect in a language which is quite limited in it's capabilities and is modern is a great feat. The translator, Sumeetha has evidently done justice to Kalki's work. 

I grew up listening to my grandfather and my mother narrating snippets from the original story as my grasp of Tamil was (and continues to be) very basic. To actually read to read the entire story with all the complexity and layering in place feels so great. The cover work needs a special mention. The Chola ship has been visualised and designed perfectly. 

In short, the book is a must read if your can't read Tamil. Beware, it will leave you wanting for more! 

Do buy the book here on Amazon

Saturday, December 29, 2018

#626 : Aphrodite's Tears by Hannah Fielding : Review

This was the last book I had read in 2017. One of the best read of that year. Took you an year to review you ask? I had been under the impression that I had written about it, but when I searched for it to recommend this book to a friend, I realised I  hadn't. Better late than never!

Oriel Anderson, the female protagonist, is offered a diving expedition job in the beautiful and elusive Greek island of Helios. She is thrilled at the prospect of it but it is short lived when she finds out that the expedition is headed by Damian Lekkas - The handsome young man with whom she spent one magical night. Damian literally seduces her but his past seem to get in between them. 

Intense, passionate, exquisite - these are the perfect words to describe the story and the writing. Having read this writers books before, I literally anticipated enticing descriptions of beautiful landscape, interesting history, strong-emotional-complex-intense characters all bound by a perfect story line. This story, it's characters, the narration is by far the best by this writer. There were few scenes - the one where Oriel and Damian have dinner in his house, the one where she spends a night in the beach and that when they go for a dive - they were all utterly beautiful to read. Her words transported me to Greece! 

Rich prose, perfect narration and a great story line - A must read book if you love romance. Pure unadulterated romance - not like the instant coffee types of romance that is dished out these days in the name of a romantic novels. 

Do buy this book here on Amazon.

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

#625 : A Game of Pawns by Shantheri Mallaya, Shubhra Rishi & Vinay Kumaar : Review

With no blurb to go on from Goodreads or Amazon, this book was a truly blind read of the year. I prefer to know the pulse of the story before I nose dive into reading it, but once in a while it is good to go blind and I decided this book would be my once in a while case for the year. Did I regret or rejoice? Neither. This was that one book I couldn't decide an opinion on. I kept procrastinating the task of penning down my thoughts as I couldn't reach a conclusion.

The story has multiple distinctive shades which tried to amalgamate into one solid form, but wasn't really successful at it. What began as quite a confusing story line in the start, ended up being a read with a solid impact towards the end. There are multiple story lines which eventually converge into the causes and pieces of a bigger game at play, thus justifying it's apt title. 

The characters were quite interesting with their own quirks, but a detailed description with more shades would really have made a difference. The characters felt as though they were written with an intention to be a part of a mini web series. They story by itself felt that way! I personally would have preferred a narration with richer visual imagery but the story by itself doesn't need much of that. 

A good read if you looking for a byte sized thriller. 

PS. I've have never ever written a review without mentioning a character or even a part of the story line. Since the writers have chosen not make the story line public in terms of the blurb, I decided to follow suit to keep it as mysterious as they intend it to be.

You can buy the book from here - Amazon 

Monday, December 17, 2018

#624 : Roark by Aarti V Raman : Review

Cowboy romance is one sub-genre of romance I have not explored much. Three books is all I managed in 4 years of reading romance. There is this annoying stereotype that this genre is all about brawny hero and damsel in need of rescue - which is such a put off to read about. The last book that I read was quite gloomy and wasn't in spirit with the season that is - The looming New Year. In need of a change in mood and throwing the prejudice outside the window, I picked up this book - a decision I didn't regret one bit.

Brawny hero - check.
Damsel in distress - check.
Damsel in need of rescue - check again! But this is where the twist really is!

In spite of fitting into all the prejudice I had with this genre, the story was refreshing to read. The damsel in question, KC is an automobile engineer with a turbulent past. Roark, our brawny hero - the almost love of her life is just leagues away from the grease monkey that she is. Will this relationship ever work? Is there a relationship in the first place to begin with?

Having read the writer's previous works, writing wise, I was quite comfortable and loved the characterization every bit. The story was fluid and had quite a bit of twists and turns to keep the reader engaged. The characters are sketched out so well that I was taking turns rooting for either of them at one point.

Indian writers, especially the self published ones, often come under a harsh spectrum of attacks on their writing and are accused of trying to ape Americans. Cowboys do belong to America. Never in a point it ever felt like I was reading a book by an Indian. It was as good as the three other cowboy romances I read by people from that country. Undoubtedly, originality sparkles and shines through all the dirt and this story was every bit original!

Pick up a copy of the book from here - Amazon